Mailroom Delight Page 8

  I took her hand and brought it to my lips to kiss it.

  “I’m crazy about you, Paige.”

  She held my gaze, eyes wide and an open expression on her face. “I’m crazy about you too, is that crazy?”

  “Why would it be baby?”

  “Because we haven’t known each other that long.”

  “Why does that matter?” I beamed at her. “Emotions and feelings just exist, they don’t really give a crap about time.”

  “I think you’re right.”

  “I’m always right.” I teased, running my fingers over her taut nipples as she lowered to give me the grape anyway. “More you, Paige. I want more of you.”

  She laughed as I flipped her over so she was on her back. I needed her again. Needed to be inside her.

  Looked like she needed me too. She reached for me and brought me down to her lips, kissing me hard.

  I couldn’t get enough of this woman. She was like a damn drug to me, working her way into my system, making me addicted to her.

  I pulled back, away from her lips to grab a condom from the nightstand. I loved the look she gave me as she watched me put it on, then I slid inside her.

  I’d lost count of how many times we’d done this. Lost count after the fourth time. it just seemed like we’d been given some sort of electrical charge to keep going.

  She moaned into every thrust, arching her back up, off the bed. Like that she looked knock-out beautiful with that intoxicated look of passion on her face. It was all for me.

  Everything, the way she looked, the way she felt, the way she touched me.

  Once again, I lost control. It was too much, and I started rutting into her like an animal.

  An idea popped into my mind.

  It was morning now and I knew we were both exhausted. It was probably the last time we’d do this. For today.

  I would have her again as soon as I could, but right now I wanted it to count.

  I wanted to see her ass again. Take her from behind like I did when we were in the shower. But I wanted her on her hands and knees this time.

  We hadn’t done it like that yet.

  Agonizingly, I slipped out of her and she gasped when I turned her over. A weak smile danced across her lips when she realized what I was doing, and she instinctively went on to her hands and knees.

  I was desperate to get back inside her, but I had to run my hands down the curve of her back and over her firm round ass.

  Perfection. That’s what she was.

  I thrust back in deep, really deep. Not even I was prepared for how deep I went, and she cried out in a moan of half pleasure, half pain.

  She felt so fucking good. I didn’t know she could feel better than she felt before.

  I moved, pumping into her with power and primal need. That hunger that raptured me drove me. My pace increased as I felt my climax was near. I did my best to stave it off but she felt too good.

  She clung to the sheets and cried out as her own orgasm took hold of her, and me. Her sweet pussy spasmed around my cock sending me into oblivion and that was it. I lost it. I tightened my hold on her hips as my climax rocked me and I erupted. Heart, mind, body, and soul, all into her.

  All of me. I wasn’t joking when I told her I was hers.

  I really was and now I knew for sure I would only ever feel the way I felt now with her.

  My Paige.

  Paige

  His apartment was beautiful.

  Beautiful at night with a gorgeous view of the Golden Gate Bridge and the city lights right at our finger tips, almost looking like I could have reached out and touched them through the wall to ceiling glass windows he had in the living room.

  It was beautiful in the morning too.

  In the bright sunlight I took note of the beige leather furniture that matched the soft silky colors of the walls. He had taste, great taste, and I liked that sophistication and finesse he had about him.

  I knew I didn’t need to leave. That was why I’d sat out here in his living room for the last hour just thinking. Part of me wanted to stay, stay wrapped up in his arms. To wake up with Jason and feel the warmth he gave me.

  Warmth that filled my heart, mind, body, and soul.

  Jason was like food to my soul and I truly enjoyed every moment I spent with him. It was more than the enjoyment, so much more.

  Once again, I had to take note of the fact that I’d never experienced the feelings I had with him, with anyone else.

  I wanted to stay but those bad feelings I looked for surfaced. They had risen very early as the sun beamed on me with its radiant rays, and not for the reasons I thought.

  I was looking to feel bad because Jason was the first man that I’d been with since Paul. However, my uncertainty didn’t lie with just that. There was something else that I never expected.

  This thing I had with Jason, whatever it was happened fast, too fast, and backwards almost. We’d never dated properly. I didn’t think we could count the date at the club.

  I never got to explore what it was I felt for him before we got to this stage. We’d just gone in full steam on the basis of emotion.

  I knew while I may have lost that part of me that had heart-warmth –the part of me that could get lost in emotions like the next romantic – there was a thing called reality that I had to consider.

  Jason was my boss, and…

  He was only here temporarily. We were just temporary.

  When I was with Paul I knew we would be forever, until the day he got sick. I knew I would marry him from the first day I met him, when I was ten.

  I’d never been with a man for fun, or temporarily. I’d never taken the advice I dished out, like the crazy advice I gave Bernice.

  All I knew was long term, and what you do to make a relationship last.

  I knew of love, true love, and I knew that someone would be damned lucky to find it twice.

  I didn’t expect that with Jason. I couldn’t because I didn’t know him like that. I’d acted on my desire for him but never looked beyond the point I was at now.

  The part where I’d developed these unexpected feelings for him that wanted more than one night, or temporary.

  I liked him, I liked him a lot but seeing past anything temporary with him would be a mistake.

  On that thought I stood up, took one last look around the apartment, and left with a heavy sadness in my heart.

  When I got home I looked at the wedding picture in the living room. My eyes found it and I stood there for what felt like hours just staring.

  Again, I was searching for guilt, but it didn’t come.

  It didn’t come because I realized I had managed to do exactly what Paul told me.

  Or near enough at least.

  I let go, slowly, but surely.

  I let go.

  And, it didn’t mean forgetting like I’d previously believed.

  Before Jason I thought that letting go meant forgetting. That was how I let go of things, by forgetting. But, it didn’t mean that at all. It meant opening my heart and not hiding it away from the world.

  It was just a shame the man I could see myself taking this big step with was only going to be in my life for such a short amount of time, and I couldn’t expect more from him.

  A tear ran down my cheek at that thought.

  Chapter 11

  Jason

  I was hoping she wouldn’t have left.

  I really wanted to wake up next to her and see the morning sun beaming down on her golden skin.

  But, she was gone, and my heart sunk further when I went to work, and she wasn’t there.

  I thought she’d resumed her avoidance tactics and would have settled for finding her somewhere in the building, hiding from me, but searching for her everywhere revealed she didn’t come in today.

  I must have asked Bernice a million times if she’d seen Paige. And, to the point where she got annoyed with me and told me to call Paige if I was that worried.

  Calling had crossed my mi
nd several times, but I feared what would happen if I did. I feared her ignoring my calls and the phone ringing to voicemail. I feared speaking to her and hearing her say that last night was a mistake.

  I feared losing the one person I’d ever really connected with.

  Last night was unreal, and my life had been turned upside down since I walked into my new role weeks ago.

  I’d had this fascination with Paige and her advice column, but thinking back now I guessed that maybe it was her I was fascinated with.

  It took me weeks to meet her, and she literally fell into my arms. As if she was mine from back then.

  Her staying away today said a lot, and I didn’t know if I should push the issue with her. I didn’t think last night was a one nighter, and I didn’t want it to be.

  Maybe she did though.

  Thinking that drove me crazy all day, and eventually I was faced with the decision of what to do.

  I didn’t want her to have to resort to staying away because of me, and I didn’t want her to stay away from me.

  My madness drove me to do the one crazy thing I swore I would never do. I got personal. I looked up her address and drove straight to her house.

  She would be in her right to call the police on me if she wanted to, but I had to see her.

  The minute I parked I jumped out of my car and ran up the steps leading to the front door.

  It was night but in the soft porch light I saw beautiful roses that looked well cared for. I could imagine her tending to them and giving attention to each one. I could imagine her liking gardening and being adventurous in what she did just from looking at the flowers all around hanging in baskets and planted in hedges clustered together.

  Paige could have hired a gardener to do it, but I wanted to imagine it was her.

  It just made me want to know more, more about her, and everything.

  It took every last ounce of my courage to ring her doorbell and waiting felt like torture.

  I waited for two agonizing minutes before the door opened.

  She looked shocked to see me, and there was also something that resembled excitement in her eyes. But it was only there for a spark and it left before I could really take note of it properly.

  “Jason.” She said my name with a softness that I felt, and as I looked her over I realized I had more feelings for her than what I realized.

  It was actually funny to acknowledge that, because anyone who knew me knew I was the perpetual bachelor.

  I’d lived for fun and always said I’d be that way until I met the magical being that could change me.

  Change me the way Paige changed me. I never needed to ask myself if I’d found that magical being.

  It was her. It was always going to be her.

  I may not have known her for long, but she’d changed me, and that meant she had me. All of me.

  “Hey… I’m really sorry to come to your home completely unannounced and uninvited –”

  “No, it’s okay. You’re invited.” She cut in.

  “I had to see you. You weren’t at work today and I know last night was crazy I just…just had to see you.” I didn’t know what to say that didn’t sound like I’d been going insane from wanting her to be mine. “Can I come in?”

  She nodded and pushed the door open wider so I could go in.

  She looked uneasy as I walked in and a little reserved.

  I followed her into her living room where I was greeted with a portrait of a happy couple on their wedding day.

  I assumed it was a relative I saw in the picture, but then I froze as I realized that the woman was Paige.

  She saw me looking at the picture and she brought her hands together when I turned my focus to her.

  “Is that you?” I asked for confirmation.

  She nodded slowly.

  “You’re married?” I asked unable to hide the fear in my voice, and I cursed myself now for not getting personal sooner and checking her out.

  My eyes zoned down to her hands, looking for a wedding band but I couldn’t see one. Her fingers were bare of any jewelry.

  “I…was.” She answered looking straight at me with a sadness in her eyes that made me want to hold her and soothe away anything that could make her sad.

  “Was? What…happened?”

  Her lips parted and I waited for her to speak, but no words came out.

  My instincts took over at that point and I knew even before she said, “he died,” that that was what happened.

  Suddenly that image she’d created in my mind of the strong challenging woman I witnessed weeks ago faded, and another realization hit me. The image she portrayed to the world was a front for the one before me.

  She didn’t have to say anything, but I’d be willing to bet the version of Paige that stood before me was the old Paige. The one I wanted to find.

  Silence filled the space between us, but sometimes silence spoke more than words, and it was deafening the more prolonged it became. There was a lot at play here, and it was all starting to make sense.

  Weeks ago, she told me she wasn’t ready, and kept saying she couldn’t go further with me.

  This was why.

  “It was a brain tumor. He died three years ago.”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through.” I offered.

  “It was horrible.”

  I nodded agreeing.

  “Paige,” there was something I wanted to know. “Was I the first man you’d been with since?” It seemed absurd to ask because look at her. She had beauty about her that would make you want to stare forever.

  I imagined her with her pick of men, and I was just lucky she picked me last night.

  “Jason, you’re the second man I’ve ever been with in my life,” she confessed.

  I tried not to look shocked, but I failed. Miserably.

  How had I managed to find a woman like this?

  I felt bad now I’d accused her of having no heart. I felt terrible. My assumptions couldn’t have been further from the truth.

  “I feel really privileged to be that for you. I…” my voice trailed off the more I thought about what she’d said, and the more I looked at her. “Paige, I hope I didn’t force you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

  She shook her head. “No. You didn’t.”

  “But you must regret last night. You… stayed away.”

  “I didn’t do anything with you that I regret.” She said with conviction and placed her hand to her chest. To her heart.

  “Why did you stay away?”

  “Because, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I’ve never just had sex for a night of fun, and last night wasn’t just a night of fun for me.” She took a deep breath and continued. “My heart is open, and I never thought I would be able to do that again, but I have baggage. I’m a widow whose kept pictures of my dead husband all around the house to keep him alive. I’m certain that when you came to San Francisco you didn’t sign up for this,” she waved around. “For me with my excess baggage. And, if that’s not bad enough I have to put in perspective that you’re leaving in…five and a half months. I can’t, and don’t expect anything from you.”

  I looked her over and what I saw was fear. Fear to feel more than what she felt for me.

  There was nothing to be afraid of because I knew women like her were priceless, part of the collection of priceless possessions my parents told me about. Maybe that was why I was so drawn to her, because she was rare, and I wasn’t the kind of man to be dumb enough to let a rare and priceless possession slip out of my grasp.

  “I lift weights a lot.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me.

  “What?”

  “Weights, you know to build muscle.” I smiled at her.

  “This is one of those times when you’re going to be annoying?” she grimaced, brows knitting together.

  “No, I’m never that. I just wanted you to know I can manage any sort of baggage, excess or otherwise. I can do it if i
t means I get to have you.” That was the part of me I’d been saving for this magical being who now looked stunned at my words.

  “What?”

  “Paige, I know we just got crazy lost in our emotions and we don’t know all that much about each other. Last night wasn’t just fun for me either. I want it to be more. I don’t need to know you for any length of time to know I want you, and as for me leaving, why don’t we just push that aside for a moment and see where this goes.” I knew where it would go, because I wasn’t going to let her go, but decided to take one step at a time for her benefit.

  “You want to be with me?” She asked as if she couldn’t believe I would.

  “I think that much is obvious Paige, but yes I do.” I turned to look at the wedding picture and I focused on the lucky man who’d had her. He looked happy. The kind of happiness I imagined you’d feel when you had everything. When I looked back to her I understood why. “You must have loved him very much to try to keep his memory alive. I can’t imagine anyone would be able to replace a man who was worthy of that. But, if you give me a chance maybe we could have something different. Can you?”

  I thought that was the best I could say.

  When a tear ran down her cheek and she nodded, excitement rippled through me.

  “Yes. I can.” She gave me one of her sweet smiles and fell into my embrace as I moved towards her.

  She clutched on to my shirt as I held her close, tears streaming down her cheeks now.

  “Thank you, Paige.” I kissed the top of her forehead and just enjoyed holding her.

  The last few weeks were mind blowing. I couldn’t wait to see what the next few weeks would bring.

  I was confident only good could happen from here onwards, and I knew my life would never be the same again.

  Epilogue

  Paige

  Five and a half months later….

  The last few months had been truly magical.

  Truly, truly magical.

  I never thought I could experience happiness again after Paul, but Jason was right when he said we could have something different.